I often read posts about bad horse trainers, coaches, and competition situations which cause me sadness and frustration. They seem to ask for help from strangers in online forums. What is possible if we start trusting our own abilities and asking for expert help when needed? What if that trust builds a relationship with our horses or our kids, partners, fill-in-the-blank? And what about when we spend time understanding them or understanding ourselves? What if we stopped racing to the next clinic/trainer/show/guru – just slow down and enjoy the ride? The ribbons are great, but they are sometimes at the expense of partnership. Imagine the rewards from sharing the spotlight, being part of a team, and enjoying our passion. And maybe, just maybe, the idea of temporary horses, and other relationship partners, would become less?

As a person who started training by age 6, the relationships I have built are far more important than the tricks and special gear. The skills can always be developed if you become aware of body language and watch horse people who are admirable even though they may not be winning the ribbons. Happy horses are easy to train. It’s not going to be a Disney movie – there is going to be hard work, wet saddle blankets, and tears of both frustration and joy. It means that creating your own champion is definitely worth the ride.

Sadness fills me when I see people who haven’t spent time doing the work winning ribbons on pre-programmed horses. The worst, all-too-common outcome is that the horse stops winning, is replaced, and then the new horse doesn’t behave or win and the person gets frustrated, taking it out on the new horse. Every relationship has to go through challenges and if the communication and trust are there on both sides, it can succeed.

Why not start teaching that relationships need communication, trust, boundaries, and self knowledge? Not just with horses. In order for this to work, adults might need to shelve their egos, and students might have to do some hard work and take responsibility for injuries which means not blaming anyone else including the horse. Success cannot always be instant. They might have to stay home, do some training, take some lessons, or become a working student and learn from the ground up from several different mentors who are worthy of respect, not necessarily a big name.